When you get lifed

My mother has a saying, 'sometimes you just get lifed'. It means that things happen out of the blue and totally screw with your plans. Well, that's happened to me. Weston and I were both planning on going back to school this fall and I was going to do this neat show called SNAP and we were going to move right along. But in the course of one hour, all our little plans disappeared. I found out that I didn't actually get the part that paid in the show and that my financial aid wasn't going to be enough to pay for school and we couldn't take out the money for student loans. That was about a half hour of time.

I can't tell you how devastating it was for me to have a job as a performer and plans to go to school and then have both ripped away from me in a matter of minutes. So Weston and I prayed about it and thought and decided that I needed to quit the show and not go to school and find a full time job to pay for Westons last year of schooling. Because he only has a year left, it will work really well. I'll work and save money and then when he is done, I will go to BYU and finish up my schooling there. I have a 3.5 so I should be able to get in.

But here is the problem, it's been about three weeks now and I still don't have a job and I'm starting to get a little deflated. It's hard to keep a good attitude when every interview I go on doesn't become anything and I don't want to hope that I get a job because when they don't call me, it hurts. Its been the hardest trial of my faith in my life. More so then when I was 17. When I was 17 it didn't matter as much because I was still maturing and growing into the person I am today. Back then I didn't know what I wanted in my life and I needed time to figure out that music really was the way I wanted to go.

Now I have a family to take care of. Rent, insurance, utilities, CC payments etc...that are always there, just over my shoulder reminding me that they aren't going to go away just because we don't have the money to pay for it. One of the cards has a $100 payment and I have no idea how were're going to pay it.

The one thing that keeps running through my head is that God will provide for us...I just wonder if he's going to make us at the end of our rope before we find a latter to take down the rest of the way. A couple in our ward, that is exactly what happened to them. They were at the end of the money and literally had nothing left and then she found a job and so did he. I know the Lord will provide a way for us to continue, but I can't help but as for WHEN?

An A on Ethics and Values!!

I took my Ethics and Values final today and guess what? I got an A! How exciting is that? So it looks like that class and my Eng. 2010 class and my American Lit class I'll have A's in but we'll have to wait and see on my Astro 1040 class. The review went well, but as the questions got to later chapters, I seemed to have forgotten more and more. So it looks like I will need to study quiet a bit in the last few chapters to make sure I get a good grade. We calculated what I would need to get on the final to have an A in that class and it was a 93.2% to pull my grade from the 86.8% it currently is at. We shall see.

Loves,
Hayley

Stress and the American Family

We have finally reached the point were we both, Weston and I, feel like we can't continue going forward at the rate we are at. You know that point. Most people call it the breaking point...well I call it that too. I came into the bed room yesterday morning after I had finished my normal morning routine and Weston was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling.
"I can't do it anymore." He said. I knew what he was talking about and I sat down next to him. "I can't do school and work and studying with no time for me. I just can't do it." I leaned over and rested my head against his chest. An arm came around me and pulled me in tight.
"I know honey. It's okay." We sat in silence for a little while, both of us thinking about what he had just said. "What do you want to do?" I asked.
"I think I'm going to cut back at work by 10 hours or so. They don't need me to work full time, so it would be a good idea anyway." I nodded my understanding and gave him a quick kiss.
"Okay then. I'm alright with that if that's what you want to do."
So he went in yesterday to his boss and told him that he was going to be cutting back his hours and that he was going to start the new schedule asap. His boss was okay with that, so he starts his new schedule today. It's nice because now we have Saturdays together!! I'm excited about that.
I have two exams coming up in my American Lit class and my Astonomy class. I'm a little nervous about the Astro. exam. It's not my strongest class to say the least. Last exam I got an 64 % which after the curve became and 80% and I got a B-, but still. I was really really upset when I saw that score. I wanted to kill the little monitor on the wall of the testing center that told me my score. Just rip it right off the wall. But I didn't. So this next exam I really hope I do better on.
I've got to go to the temple now, but I will write more later. Bye!

Hayley