New Job and goodbye to BN :(

My wonderful MIL just talked to me about my blog and I realized I left everyone hanging with this horrible day and didn't put a band-aid on it! How mean of me!

So a few weeks after the wonderful Thursday were I turned into a raving lunatic, I found a job! I'm going to go back a little and tell you guys about what happened the last few weeks. I had two interviews, one for VitalSmarts (the company that wrote Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrentation, and the Influencer), and the other was for CR Foundation. Both went really well and I was really hoping I would get the job at VitalSmarts, but it didn't pan out. But I had a second interview with the CR Foundation after the first and it went really well. The company felt really good and I enjoyed going in and talking with the head managers. The position was for a Business Assistant where I do whatever anyone else doesn't have time to do.

My first day at my job was really great. I didn't realize the scope of the company until my manager gave me a tour. The company is really quiet large! It was crazy! They have scientists and researchers and dentists, and dental assistants and a whole upper management team. It's wonderful! I am going to learn so much about dentistry. I'M PSYCHED!

It's a great job. I get two weeks vacation and benifits that start after three months. That means Weston and I are going to be able to go to California for Christmas...an entire week! We are both very excited. We haven't been able to go to California for Christmas in years. It was on of the bigger reasons why I needed to leave BN. They weren't going to be able to guarantee Christmas. The other week for vacation is the week of the 4th of July. Pretty much awesome! It's beyond awesome. It's...B-Awesome!!!

But I will say, my last day at BN was very sad. Well, I guess it wasn't techniqually my last day. I'm still on call for Thursday, so we'll see. But It was probably my last day with Tracy, the GM. It was very difficult for me to leave her. She has been one of the best, most caring, most sweet person to work for. She hugged me and didn't let me go for a few minutes. She said "THank you so much for being so wonderful and working so hard and doing everything we needed." She just hugged me, her body began to shake a little, like she was about to cry. I pulled away, and she looked so upset. She said the door was always open and whenever I would like to, I could come back.

Then the other girls, Kristin, Brittney, Quincey, Courtney, Ashley, Tiffinie, everyone there hugged me and made me feel so loved. I have never worked somewhere where I have made so many friends. This has been just an amazing job and I hope that someday I will be able to go back.

So that's the last few weeks in my life.

When you get lifed

My mother has a saying, 'sometimes you just get lifed'. It means that things happen out of the blue and totally screw with your plans. Well, that's happened to me. Weston and I were both planning on going back to school this fall and I was going to do this neat show called SNAP and we were going to move right along. But in the course of one hour, all our little plans disappeared. I found out that I didn't actually get the part that paid in the show and that my financial aid wasn't going to be enough to pay for school and we couldn't take out the money for student loans. That was about a half hour of time.

I can't tell you how devastating it was for me to have a job as a performer and plans to go to school and then have both ripped away from me in a matter of minutes. So Weston and I prayed about it and thought and decided that I needed to quit the show and not go to school and find a full time job to pay for Westons last year of schooling. Because he only has a year left, it will work really well. I'll work and save money and then when he is done, I will go to BYU and finish up my schooling there. I have a 3.5 so I should be able to get in.

But here is the problem, it's been about three weeks now and I still don't have a job and I'm starting to get a little deflated. It's hard to keep a good attitude when every interview I go on doesn't become anything and I don't want to hope that I get a job because when they don't call me, it hurts. Its been the hardest trial of my faith in my life. More so then when I was 17. When I was 17 it didn't matter as much because I was still maturing and growing into the person I am today. Back then I didn't know what I wanted in my life and I needed time to figure out that music really was the way I wanted to go.

Now I have a family to take care of. Rent, insurance, utilities, CC payments etc...that are always there, just over my shoulder reminding me that they aren't going to go away just because we don't have the money to pay for it. One of the cards has a $100 payment and I have no idea how were're going to pay it.

The one thing that keeps running through my head is that God will provide for us...I just wonder if he's going to make us at the end of our rope before we find a latter to take down the rest of the way. A couple in our ward, that is exactly what happened to them. They were at the end of the money and literally had nothing left and then she found a job and so did he. I know the Lord will provide a way for us to continue, but I can't help but as for WHEN?